First Loves

Do you remember your first love? I do. I was in the 8th grade and got to know this boy on the track team. He invited me to a dance and the rest was history. I proceeded to date him off and on for about 5 years before we finally went our seperate ways. Although I am HAPPILY married, you never forget that FIRST time you give your heart away. Well, here we are at the beginning of 2008 and my two oldest children are on their way to what could possibly be their First Loves.

Mike and I have always had this rule that our children would not start relationships until they were 16 and even then it would be modified courtship. Sam, now 16 nas never really been interested in pursuing a relationship with a girl and so it has been no big deal. Grace, now 14 and 3/4, , however, has had issues with this rule since she was 12. We had determined to stand our ground because from personal experience and observing other young teens, kids are just not ready for realtionships. They are already going through so much from hormones and changing that to add relationships on top of that is just asking for trouble. They aHOWEVER...

Several weeks ago Mike and I noticed that Grace was periodically talking to one of Sam's friends when we would be in group situations. We know the family well and have had talks with the parents about Grace not being able to date, etc. They began to "facebook" each other and before you know it, they process to have a mutual like. In the meantime, Mike and I began to have a change of heart. We truly believe it is the Lord because neither of us was going to budge ont he whole dating issue and yet one night, we began to compare notes and we were feeling the same exact thing...if we wanted out kids to have successful relationships as adults then it is our job to TEACH them to have a sucessful relationships. It is our job to help them navigate and do things the right way. Cut back to Grace and her friend, Ricky. He knew that she was not allowed to have a boyfriend and was going to totally respect that and the fact that we didn't allow phone calls. But he did ask her if she might ask her parents to reconsider. We did and she was floored! After about another week, Ricky sat in our living room under the scrutiny of Mike and I and fielded questions regarding his faith as well as enduring about 45 minutes of lecture from Mike and I (plus a page and a half of notes ) regarding what our boundaries are and what we expect if he wants to spend time with our daughter. He took it like a man and I am very happy to say that Grace has a friend-boy. Ricky Adams is an accomplished athlete and student, believes God is the center of his life, and is quite smitten with Grace, according to his mother. And by the way, I spoke to his mom at the very beginning and they were and are totally and completely supportive of our boundaries and guidelines. Cool

In the meantime, Sam met a young lady at one of his band gigs. In fact, her daddy is the pastor of the church that they played at. They began to facebook and before we knew it, our son was very muc interested in Laura Beth. We has moved slower than Grace and Ricky, however, they have now professed mutual like and he is going over to her house tonight to have dinner with her family and to ask her father permission to spend more time with her. Laura Beth is a beautiful homeschool girl who sings and dances and plays violin. Mike knows her dad pretty well from different pastor related events in the community. Once Sam meets with Laura Beth's dad, we plan to have a little heart to heart with them as well and spell out our guidelines if they differ from her dad's.

We have gone from NO relationships to TWO! Mike and I told the kids that this is all new and that although we have lots of ideas of how we want things to go, they still need to understand that this is uncharted territory and they need to be patient with us. So far, so good! This is definitely modified dating/courtship. I guess it's not really courtship yet because they are all still in the "getting to know you" phase of things. It is still all about group situations and NO touchy feely stuff. But I am excited. It has really brought the best out in both the kids and Grace and my relationship has improved 100%.

The next step is for Mike and I to get to know the friend boy and girl better. We plan to have game night soon so that we can hang out and just see how they all interact with one another.

Tonight, Sam plans to go to Laura Beth's for dinner and meet her parents and hang out with them. Mike and I and Grace plan to meet Ricky and his parents and some other friends at the Greenwood Basketball game. They plan to play one of the cross town rivals and it plans to be big. Jessie is spending the afternoon/evening with her friend Hope.

First Loves sometimes mean first heart breaks. But we plan to help them navigate that successfully, too, should that be part of our future. I always dreaded this time coming into our lives. But now that it is here, I have peace and joy as I watch my two oldest babies take the next step toward adulthood and maturity.

Happy New Year!

We made it home safely from the Kitsteiners. we so enjoyed our time with our long time friends and it was so great to be able to be together and feel like we had never spent any time apart. We miss them terribly! It took us about 8 hours and the drive was relatively easy. We were happy to get back to our pest and beds. Of course, it was Monday night so Mike promptly parked himself in his chair and turned on Monday Night Football. I am really going to miss it when it's all over!

I headed to the gym the next morning and taught two cardio classes back to back. I went from doing nothing for a week to lots of classes. In fact, I will have taught 8 classes in 3 days! Not all of them are cardio, but about half are and the other half Pilates and weight training. I am one pooped mommy but I have about 5lbs of holiday weight gain to deal with, too!!!

Anyway, New Years, Eve was one of the funnest I have had in years. We went to some friends who have a Nintendo Wii and after snacks and talking, put together some Bowling Teams and had a ball. We decided that we really like this bowling because you didn't have to put on skanky shoes, stink like cigarette smoke, and deal with irritating people next to you! The kids were all in the game room playing video games and hanging out while the adults played video games down stairs. It was a HOOT!!! Jessie actually spent the night with a friend so that worked out for everyone. So Mike and Grace and I got home about 3:00am New Years morning and wouldn't you know, I woke up at 6:30am? What is with that? I stayed in my jammies all day and loved that! The Rose Parade was really beautiful this year and we all enjoyed just hanging out. I had to do laundry to get us ready for school the next day and as well as get some workout routines put together for all the classes ahead of me (now in progress!).

As far as resolutions, I would like to drop the 5lbs I put on plus another 10. I would like to get much more cut and definition since I am personal training now and feel that I should look more the part. I also want to be home more for the kids so I am going to do the minimum amount with The Body Shop. I want to spend more time reading my Bible and praying and reaching out to others. But my other resolution is not to beat myself up if I don't live up to all my expectations!

I am excited about this next year. The kids are and still will be going through lots of "firsts". We have track meets, plays, and football ahead of us. We have a great church and new friends and fun jobs. I plan to enjoy the good times while they are here because you never know what tomorrow holds.

Happy New Year to all who read this and may the Lord fill your lives with knowledge of His love.